I ate everything

Why do things require leaving bed. I’m super excited for breakfast, but why doesn’t it deliver?

valentinostclaire:

Why does toilet paper NEED a commercial? Who is not buying toilet paper?

its-a-bingo:

i found presidential fan fiction I’m really distressed 

(Source: deportredmayne)

lalalafrickyou:

wolvesatmydoorstep:

Biggest jam, dude

JAMMING VERY HARD DONT TRY TO STOP ME

(Source: damnitdaria)

"Marry your best friend. I do not say that lightly. Really, truly find the strongest, happiest friendship in the person you fall in love with. Someone who speaks highly of you. Someone you can laugh with. The kind of laughs that make your belly ache, and your nose snort. The embarrassing, earnest, healing kind of laughs. Wit is important. Life is too short not to love someone who lets you be a fool with them. Make sure they are somebody who lets you cry, too. Despair will come. Find someone that you want to be there with you through those times. Most importantly, marry the one that makes passion, love, and madness combine and course through you. A love that will never dilute - even when the waters get deep, and dark."